Trumps attack on Biden's Son Show's his Lack of Empathy More Than Ever

 In the 2020 presidential debate Trump brought up Biden's son (Hunter) and his battle with drug addiction. It was a heartless attack that had nothing to do with the debate. Like millions of others that have watched someone battle drug addiction I saw Trump's immaturity more than ever in that moment. 

As a child and teenager I watched several of my family members battle addiction. As a child I remember thinking they were worthless, they hurt me, they chose drugs over our family. This is the easiest way to think. It's hard to understand why someone you love could chose drugs over the love and support of their family. There are 2 paths you can take while watching a loved one battle addiction. Path 1: You can be angry and feel like they did this on purpose.  You can watch them struggle and mock them when they miss Christmas or don't have the money to go to dinner. You can ridicule them for the mistakes they've made like Trump would do. Path 2: You can love them and support them, you can research ways to help, you can do exactly what Biden had to do on stage last night, which was, tell everyone that you are proud of them. To my family members that are still struggling every day with addiction, I want you to know that I am proud of how far you have came. I am happy you're still here and you are loved by many. 

Trump showed that he has never felt empathy for anyone besides himself in that moment of the debate. He put a bad stigma on drug addiction because he simply does not have the capacity to understand something that doesn't directly relate to him. Trump has a fairly tale thought in his mind that if we teach youth that drugs are bad then they just won't do them. This tactic he is attempting clearly is not working.  The opioid crisis is rising in this country. Covid-19 has caused people to relapse and with a president like Trump they could feel like they did to battle it alone.  There is no reason a drug addict should not be able to get help and not feel like a failure for it. I want you to think about this when you're voting for our next president. 

You Gotta Love You First

Hi, my name is Sara and I am a man hunter or a hopeless romantic as I prefer to call it. Someone once called me a  branch swinger; a person that sits on one branch until the next best thing comes along. Not to be taken literally as if all the men I get with have a branch for me to sit on. Most of them had something more like a twig or slightly bent to the left vine if you catch my drift. I’ve been dating boys since my first period. They say girls that are promiscuous from a young age typically don’t have a father figure in their life. That’s not really my case. I had a dad and he was a pretty good dad. He had a bad temper and didn’t really care what I was doing as long as he didn’t have to be involved but I never felt like he would abandon me or hurt me. I grew up in a home with 2 parents that hated each other on a lot days and loved each other in the most obscured way. I think they stayed together for me and they did the best they could do. What I am saying is that my upbringing doesn’t have anything to do with my man issues. 

I relate to the song Clumsy by Fergie on a personal level. I've always wanted to be the girl that can casually date or just be single but every time I get out of one relationship the love bug jumps right back up and bites me. Typically I don't chose terrible guys either. I've dated a few dogs but for the most part I am pretty good a choosing pure breeds. What this all boils down to is that I am addicted to relationships. 

I guess my problem is that I am awkward at casual dating, I suck at relationships but most importantly I hate being single. Now that I am on my 234th failed relationship (exaggerated for shock appeal and humor) I am flat out exhausted. I am tired of bringing guys around my family only to explain a few months later that I didn't like the way he ate with his fork backwards so I had to end it. I am tired of settling for the next one to assure I won't be lonely. I don't want to try to make it work even though I know it's not what I really want. I've been in such a rush to find the perfect guy that I've overlooked all the obvious flaws they have. 

I've always been pretty certain I can tweak a guy to make him perfect for me. Sure, he might be too attached to his mom, doesn't listen to any of the music I listen to, cries regularly and hates all my friends but I was always willing to ignore red flags. But I'm not going to do that anymore. Why? Because I don't wanna.  

Here's the kicker though, I think I am falling in love right now. But this time it's with myself. This isn't a woman's empowerment speech, I've always loved the fuck out of myself. I think I am hilarious and witty and kind and cute and... I'll stop there, you get it, I love myself. 

What I mean by this is that I am not fixing anymore guys. I am living my life and if someone wants to join it they are more than welcome but I will not be changing for them or trying to change them. The next relationship I get into is going to be straight up, perfect. I know this because I am not settling anymore. I've settled for some pretty terrible reasons. I once moved in with a guy I knew wasn't right because I really liked his bathtub. For the record, I still really miss that tub. Anyway, I know I am far from perfect. I know I have been a bit of a fixer upper as well. However, I think that if it's right then there is no fixing required. I know there is no such thing as perfection but I want to get pretty damn close. 

I am not going to have a list of "must haves" in a guy. I am just going to float around until there is someone that is so awesome I can't help but be with them. It's time I start living life for myself and I think a lot of people need to hear this. Be grateful for who you are, even if you don't love yourself yet. Be true to yourself and stop settling for things. Not just relationships but everything. Stop settling for shit jobs. Stop sticking up for friends that don't do the same for you. If you don't like your roommate, move out. Stop buying clothes that don't fit just because they are on sale. Stop doing things that don't make you riotously happy. 

Start loving yourself. 

I quit my corperate job and went back to serving

In October of 2016 I quit my job with absolutely no back up plan. Not just any job, one of those cushy jobs with the 40 hours a week, 401k and 2 weeks paid vacation. It wasn't that I hated my job, I just wasn't happy. I wasn't happy with my life, my relationship or my job. Basically everything was just going to shit so I put in a two weeks notice and told them I found another job ( I didn't) then I did what any sane person would do and moved in with my parents and traveled for a couple months. I visited friends, I sat on the beach, cried sometimes and watched a lot of daytime television. I job searched in different states and spent that little bit of money in savings that I had. Looking back, it could have been disastrous but it somehow worked out and heres why.

It gave me some time to reflect on my life and what I wanted to get out of it. It gave me time to refocus on some relationships and figure out what was making me so unhappy. I have been in and out of the restaurant industry for all of my adult life and I am so grateful for my serving experience because it gives me an out when I have no where to turn. However, I would have never expected I would have spent the last year of my life still 'waiting tables.' That being said, I worked for one of the best restaurants in the entire world for the past year (maybe I am biased) but seriously, some of the best people, leaders and lessons have came out of my serving job. I truly believe everyone needs to serve once in their life because it will change the way you handle almost any situation. You meet a lot of people and learn to roll with the punches..and kicks... and basically it eats you alive and shows you that you are still walking on two (very sore) feet. Also the money is pretty sweet.

I have had a year to figure shit out and it took all of that and more to really feel like I was ready to jump back into a job I am scared of. I am scared to go back into a business job because I don't want to lose myself again. I don't want to punch the clock and wait for Saturday or drink away my weekends because I am miserable for the next week to come. I know the choice I've made is going to help me financially and in the long run but I hope it doesn't hurt my spirit. I am such a day dreamer and often get caught up wondering "what if" but I am eager to take this leap.

If I can give you one piece of advice from my short 25 years on earth is to keep leaping. Keep jumping and falling and flying and crashing until you find happiness. It was really hard for me to tell people that I went back into the service industry after 4 years of college and 2 years out in my field of work but I never felt unhappy. I never dreaded going into work or felt like I needed to self medicate to forget the week. I am forever grateful that I quit my job without any plans. Don't be embarrassed to fail or to fall short because that is where you will find happiness.

You don't need to call me beautiful

Ok, listen up. All boys: stop doing this.  I understand it's suppose to be a compliment but I am so tired of the "hey beautiful" text. The ones you send to every girl you find attractive. Do you know anything about me? Have you taken the time to actually get to know me to see that I like cats, traveling and yoga? Do you even care where I went to school or where I grew up? If not, then don't text me.

I don't want you to tell me I am beautiful. I want you to tell me what your favorite song is. I want to know that we have some things in common so maybe we can build a life together. Sometimes we see things so superficially and don't take the time to get to know the people surrounding us.


Perfection is not beautiful. Beauty is raw. I want to be beautiful for so many reasons but I don't want to be superficial. I want to be beautiful for my laugh, for my smile, for my ability to make people feel at ease.


I am here to tell you that clothes, makeup and hair are not what make you beautiful. Treat people with kindness and let your soul do the talking. Your true beauty will shine through.

To The Man I Pushed Away

To the man I pushed away,

First off I should start by saying sorry. I am sorry I wasn't ready for love and never gave you what you deserved. I know all you wanted to do was give me the world and I broke yours down. There was a time in our life when everything was easy but when things got tough I backed out. I got scared and I ran away. 

I wasn't looking for love when I met you and I had built a pretty sturdy wall that took years for you to break. For a while that was comforting but as the last bricks started to crumble I began building my wall again. Little did you know I was building this wall back up while you were trying to grow with me. Slowly I started blaming you for all of our mishaps, ignoring you when you needed me the most and pushed you away until I thought you would leave. But, you didn't. Not for a day, not for a second. You told everyone I was going through a "funk" and I would come out of it. Turns out, it wasn't a funk, it was me backtracking because I was scared. Scared to love you and more scared for you to love me. 

Over and over again I have done this to myself. I let people in quickly to the surface of my life but the minute they begin to dig in I dart in the other direction. Maybe it's a character flaw of mine, maybe it's something that can't be fixed but I want you to know that I am sorry for dragging you into my mess. 

Thank you for always loving me when I pushed you away. When I told you not to call me anymore you told me you would marry me one day. When I quit texting you back because I was "busy" you told me you would wait for me. Thank you for being so patient with me even though all I did was hurt you. 

I know my actions hurt you and for the first time I am willing to admit this is my fault. I should have never blamed you. You did call me enough, you did compliment me enough and you were everything I ever needed. My walls are built even taller now with each person I let in and then push away and that is my own battle I will need to fight.

That being said, I want you to know that you ARE good enough. There is someone out there that will let you into their life- all of their raw, beautiful life. I am not bitter that you moved on and I hope she can treat you better. I hope I haven't caused you to build a wall because you deserve the most virtuous kind of love. Keep giving your love out and someone will give it back. I want nothing more than to see you succeed and be happy. My only regret is leading you on for so many years to think you had solved the puzzle I gave you. Don't let this ruin you. You are the greatest thing that ever happened to me. 

What Life is Like When You Hate Change

I've always been very content with where I am at my entire life. I adapt to my surroundings, I get used to them and I stick to them. I guess it's surprising I chose to move 1,000 miles away for the summer even though I hate change but it's made me realize what it's like to live when you hate change.
Here is my list of what it's like to live when you hate changes.

1. You don't mind eating the same foods 
Applebees- I'll have the steak please
Red Lobster- I'll have the steak please
McDonalds- What do you mean you don't have steak?
If you found a food you really like, you will eat it for every meal.

2. Plans should be followed
There is nothing worse than plans falling through. You don't understand how someone can change their plans in just a few seconds, you made plans like last week for this.

3. You will stay at a job your don't like just because you don't want to switch jobs
Switching jobs would mean: New co-workers, New Boss, New office... basically just a whole bunch of changes. Suddently your boss only giving you a 2 day notice on a project doesn't seem as bad as starting a new job.

 4. Same with Relationships, it's not worth the switch
You will stay with a person a lot longer than you should because you are comfortable in the relationship. The love may have died but the thought of having to start over with someone new keeps you in your current relationship.

5. You get social anxiety when put into an unfamiliar territory
You mean there are going to be people there I haven't known for several years? I'll stay home, thanks.

6. You've had the same friends forever
Once you find friends you like you will cling to them. You're not big on making new friends.

7. You really didn't want to leave high school
I mean you had all your friends there, you found your clique, there was really no need to leave all the progress you made in high school.

8. Same With College
If you took the risk and left your hometown to go to college you probably found that 4 years goes by quick. Once you finally got a schedule going, a steady group of friends and starting to get to know some of your professors it was time to leave... again.

9. Your early 20's are the worst 
The age of change. Everyone starts saying, "ohhhh welcome to the real world." "What are you going to do when you graduate." "where do you see yourself in 5 years" MAKE IT STOP!!

Why Are We so Afraid to Catch Feelings?

In the past few months I've heard more and more people using the term: "Catching the Feels." At first I joined along. For some reason my generation has an issue with falling in love. I've read countless articles about why our generation is unable to love and it's really starting to make sense to me. We refuse to admit having feelings for someone.

Heres my thing... If I am talking to you, I have all intentions on "catching feels" for you. Does that mean I am going to be stalking you outside your house at 2a.m. three weeks after talking, no. But what it does mean is that when I wake up in the morning I look forward to your text. It means I search your name on Twitter just to see what your up to. I guess you could say I am creepy or that I get attached too easy but I'm not interested in wasting my time attempting to not catch feelings.

If I am not interested in catching feels for you then I won't talk to you. I am not here to play games. I am strong. I am independent. I can survive on my own. I don't talk to men to get attention. I don't keep men around to keep me company. If I like you, I will make it obvious. If I catch feels for you then I'll make sure you know. I see no point in talking to someone if your against catching feeling for them.

I remember the first time I was told, "You're getting too attached."  At the time I was young and it hurt me. I turned off all my feelings and attempted to never get too attached. But then I grew up. I found someone else that was interested in getting attached too. And we did get attached. We feel in love. Did it last forever? Nope. But did I enjoy being in love, of course. I am not scared of falling in love.

If a guy tells you you're catching feelings or getting too attached tell them to screw off. You don't need that type of little boy in your life. Call me a hopeless romantic but if I find someone that makes me laugh, has common interest and will accept my creepiness then I'll catch feels. I am not afraid to "catch feelings." Let's end this shit.